All Ways a Healer

I found myself this week “trapped” in a phone call in which I was called upon to play I role that no longer comes easily to me. I resisted. I played on the edges. I bent the corners. I whistled around a while.

It worked — to an extent. There is such a big shift happening right now, across all borders, that sometimes to me now it seems there is only one way to move forward. When asked to backslide, I almost cannot.

I was able to navigate with some / sort of / enough grace, I’m sure. No harm done, in any sense — in my new measure, or the old one. But this splitting of consciousness, it’s for the birds. No more.

How to reconcile myself to the healing ways that from now on, always want to be most prominent? The best I can tell is, try humming to myself in the background. During the other thing, the thing that is “going wrong” or is acutely uncomfortable because I am being asked to reinforce a system I no longer enjoy even a little bit.

I’ll keep you posted. This one is a game, a wonderment, an unfolding start / star. I no longer am willing to inhabit certain old games, old language games, old role games, old domination scripts, no matter how cozy or “benign.” They just won’t fly. Can I still fly without them? Let’s find out. We all need the answer to this one.

I will let you know how the next time unfolds, okay?